but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
There are leaves in my underwear?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize