we have officially lost it.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize