My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
