you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
