this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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