question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
