There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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