dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
