Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
