I love black thongs
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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