Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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