just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
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