my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
