yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
