I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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