I am puke
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
