Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
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