did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
They have beer where we have blood.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
