we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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