In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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