do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think i peed on brittanys purse
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
