put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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