I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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