I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
We just shotgunned beers for America
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
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