I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
