I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
