She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
