just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
