i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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