Do you still have your period?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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