Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
