Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
