If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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