I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
