gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
