i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
