She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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