drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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