I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
