tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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