Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize