How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We have so much sex to catch up on
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
