# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
