I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
