he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Randomize
