So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Randomize
