I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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