He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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