If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
