I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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