Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
