My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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