BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
