So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
