This girl is more easily done than said...
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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