Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Randomize
