So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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