Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize