I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
