Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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