how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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