How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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