He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
