Whod you bang
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
