I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
