good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
